By Rich Edwards
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
If you are starting a project and find you need a tool that you don’t already own, in our neighborhood I have found that every tool known to man is already owned by one or more nearby neighbors who are willing to loan you the tool if you are willing to:
• Listen to a bunch of stories from when they did a similar project
• Act interested in their stories
• Allow them to show you the ‘right’ way to use the tool
• Be grateful for the lesson even though you thought you already know how to swing a sledge hammer
• Show off your project while in progress and when finished
• Listen to a whole bunch more stories from when they did a similar project
• Tell them that ‘Yes the lesson on how to use the tool was useful’ even though you didn’t follow a word they said during the lesson, especially the parts about ‘rotational acceleration’ and ‘fulcrum’
• In addition to the above requirements, you might also wish to do the following optional steps:
• Not completely destroy the tool
• Return the tool